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DarkSmoke591

Offline (the 07/11/2014 at 11:59pm) | Search for a member

DarkSmoke591

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkSmoke591 : I'm mostly into:
Asking Alexandria,
Bullet for My Valentine,
Breaking Benjamin,
Three Days Grace,
Escape the Fate,
Hollywood Undead,
and Skillet

Hobbies include
skating,
video games,
and
working out

Kik: DarkSmoke591

Tumblr: DarkSmoke591

I never post anything on Tumblr though

DarkSmoke591's page activity

Visits<b>mermaidgirl5413</b> - 14 hours ago<b>thycleverestname</b> - 18 hours ago<b>678bebe</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ironfey</b> - yesterday at 10:16am<b>_Minato</b> - yesterday at 9:41am<b>Miizuo</b> - yesterday at 8:04am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - yesterday at 12:53am<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - yesterday at 12:12am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - yesterday at 6:59pm<b>LovePerfection</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:46pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:15am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:48pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:07pm<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:29am<b>callmefunnymam</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:49pm<b>R4gn0r0k</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:43am<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:01am

Liked!<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:24pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:18pm

DarkSmoke591's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of DarkSmoke591's badges

DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

#21192141
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41324) - you deserved it (5747)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (6105)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43497) - you deserved it (6267)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (6516)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (18012)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (4254)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50370) - you deserved it (4430)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (7933)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53761) - you deserved it (5638)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (11403)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51855) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)



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