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DarkSmoke591

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DarkSmoke591

20Fucked!

DarkSmoke591DarkSmoke591
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1999 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3488
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkSmoke591 : What's up?

Rock, K-Pop, working out, videogames, and martial arts are my thing.

Allons-y!

DarkSmoke591's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:02pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:43pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:46pm<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:59pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:40pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:35am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:07pm<b>wendysir161</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>kaet</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:37am<b>tippytoes83</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:04am<b>Lilly_974</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Levi2411</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:53pm<b>racquel1115</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:46pm<b>MidnaLover</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Dr_Manhattan</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:51am<b>pliskon_snake</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57am<b>ValleyHockey12</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:54pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:05am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:13pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:07am<b>Etched</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:20am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:53am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:50am<b>makaramiracles</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:24pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:06pm<b>AlexBurn97</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:48pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:04pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:10pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:32pm

DarkSmoke591's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of DarkSmoke591's badges

DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (4929)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (2150)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

#21516742
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

#21514734
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (5759)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by ShouldveStayedAVirgin - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

#21501371
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (2012)

On 12/08/2015 at 3:30am - money - by Lala (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

#21495080
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

#21494410
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (1945)

On 11/19/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by auto boogie man (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (8727)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

#21491660
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (27220)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

#21488619
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (1856)

On 11/05/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

#21475435
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (6354)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm - intimacy - by sad-boing (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

#21474290
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

#21472629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by Thai that on for size (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

#21471301
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16732) - you deserved it (21859)

On 09/22/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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