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DarkSmoke591

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DarkSmoke591

19Fucked!

DarkSmoke591DarkSmoke591
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3048
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkSmoke591 : What's up?

Rock, metal, Visual Kei, working out, videogames, and martial arts are my thing.

Message me if you wish

DarkSmoke591's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - 5 hours ago<b>insanecutie</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Lilly_974</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:46am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:54am<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>Bobegan</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>kleach1</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:33am<b>Rhiley12</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:29am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Etched</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:49am<b>MehNeckHurts</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:19pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:55pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:07pm<b>LovelyNightmare</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:15pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:58pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:04am<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:44pm

Fucked!<b>im_a_squid</b> - yesterday at 2:13pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:07am<b>Etched</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:20am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:53am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:50am<b>makaramiracles</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:24pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:06pm<b>AlexBurn97</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:48pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:04pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:10pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:32pm<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:24pm

DarkSmoke591's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DarkSmoke591's badges

DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (4212)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (2370)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (1677)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (4981)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (6067)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

#21417667
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15938) - you deserved it (24208)

On 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm - health - by not a kiddy fiddler really (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (3714)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (4733)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (5645)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39491) - you deserved it (3520)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States



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