About DarkSmoke591 : Hi, what's up?
I like listening to K-Pop, learning martial arts, and studying in my free time
Message me if you're interested in any of those 3 things above ;D
About DarkSmoke591 : Hi, what's up?
DarkSmoke591's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
DarkSmoke591's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML
by shit / 04/28/2016 at 7:05am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Kids
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML
by M1CHA3L_MY3RZ / 03/01/2016 at 8:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
by Lala / 12/08/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Money
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete… Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed… Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand.…
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…