Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DarkMirror

Search for a member

DarkMirror

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26077
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DarkMirror : You know...there's some really fucked up people here. My kind of website.

DarkMirror: Spreader of Badassery (you have no idea how long it takes me to right a check)

Interests: reading, writing, swimming, youtubing, and listening to music (normally rock like Three Days Grace, MCR, Queen, Breaking Benjamin, Led Zeppelin, etc. but I'll listen to anything). Oh yeah, and just being plain weird.

angel_dust_330@yahoo.com
katluvsu@live.com

- talk to me if your funny, sarcastic, bitchy, bored, or all around awesome like me xD (yeah I wish)

DarkMirror's page activity

Visits<b>Eluddha</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:21pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Joseph__Pierce</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:37pm<b>forevralone</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:17am<b>countingstairs</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:45am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:00am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 12:07pm<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sarahperez</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:48am<b>kattfish33</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:12pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:07pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 7:27pm<b>FairJ1025</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:38am<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 1:31pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 9:18pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 4:01am<b>Thejackel79</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 12:09pm

DarkMirror's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DarkMirror's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50167) - you deserved it (2941)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48192) - you deserved it (6953)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (118906)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (74745)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10891) - you deserved it (168471)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (55646)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55101) - you deserved it (31102)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (75492)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (219777)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

#2393913
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (7761)

On 05/29/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51803) - you deserved it (3069)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (68343)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63077) - you deserved it (3661)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39111) - you deserved it (21357)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: