Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About DarkJoy : I have a BA in English, but try not to correct grammar unless I am being a bitch. I am currently in law school. I can be a total bitch even though most of the time I try to play nice . I feel like this site brings out the bitchy side of me though. I have a kick ass boyfriend and 2 awesome dogs. That's all anyone needs to know.
Shout out to Pendatik, Twinkle and Raleigh.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
Friday 19 December 2014