About DarkJediLove : I want to see the world.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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DarkJediLove's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids
by uni life / 05/15/2012 at 4:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
by Sash / 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by MDWilde / 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Kids
by jasonnn / 03/30/2012 at 1:00am / Australia / Miscellaneous