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DarkDaedalus009

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DarkDaedalus009

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About DarkDaedalus009 : I took a shit

DarkDaedalus009's page activity

Visits<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:14am<b>nothemother</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:44am<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:07am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 3:25am<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 1:41am<b>sillyyanks</b> - the 10/09/2012 at 5:31pm<b>pink_raindrops</b> - the 10/09/2012 at 3:03pm

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DarkDaedalus009's favorite FMLs

today my boss fird ma bacausa of tha way I laugh. Apparantly it raminds him too much of his ax-wifa's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally askd me out. I excitedly said yes. I waitd a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl an say, "Where's your date?" I was askd to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (1813)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the only reasonhy my boyfriend spends the night with me is cuz my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas . FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2654)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, I HAD TO BUY GROCERIESHILE SUFFERING HORRIBLE MORNING SICKNESS. MY NAUSEA MAGNIFIED AS I STOOD IN LINE BEHIND AN OBESE LADY WEARING A TANK TOP AND TINY SHORT SHORTS. I LOST EVERYTHING IN MY STOMACHHEN SHE STUCK HER HAND DOWN HER SHORTS AND STARTED SCRATCHING AT HER ASS-CRACK. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (2035)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today thinking I was alone in mah house I went downstair in mah underwear singing at the top of mah voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house 4 the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (3831)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on , looking fir a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to ( sit by the hooker. ) FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

I WAS SHOPPING WITH MAH BOYFRIEND, WHEN HE SUGGESTED THAT I MIGHT WANT TO BUY A NEW LOOFAH. WHEN I ASKED WHY, HE ADMITTED HE'S BEEN USING IT TO SCRUB HIS ASS CRACK 4 WEEKS. I USE THAT LOOFAH TO WASH MAH FACE. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (2369)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

TODAY, MAH MUM FOUND OUT SHE'S PREGNANT. I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER, IF SHE KNEW WHO THE FATHER WAS. FML

#20060753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (1692)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (9013)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, Mah Dormant Eczema Decided To Come Back With A Vengeance - On Mah Scrotum . I Work In An Open Office And Can't Scratch Unless I Repeatedly Run Into The Restroom . FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19015) - you deserved it (1402)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today mah boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wastd. He's currently nakd in bd cooing at his penis and giggling lyk a little grl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today , wanting to be romantic , I came home with flowers , an told mah girlfriend I love her an that I never want us to fall apart . Before I could finish mah second sentence , she farted , said , "Aww , that's so sweet" an quickly excused herself to the bathroom . FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2505)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

my fiancée showd me her wedding plans. It will be themd on one of her video games , the best man will be dressd as an alien warlord , and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessd by the ( Goddess Kalahra ). Apparently , I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (5448)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today... I went out to dinner with mah boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu..." remarked how I look "so grown up 4 yur age..." and asked wat grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (1626)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

2day Ihacked off with a condom on an left it in the living room waste basket so it looked looool like I finally had sex with someone . real FML

#19993573
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14409) - you deserved it (37938)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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