Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About DarkDaedalus009 : I took a shit
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally askd me out. I excitedly said yes. I waitd a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl an say, "Where's your date?" I was askd to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML
TODAY, I HAD TO BUY GROCERIESHILE SUFFERING HORRIBLE MORNING SICKNESS. MY NAUSEA MAGNIFIED AS I STOOD IN LINE BEHIND AN OBESE LADY WEARING A TANK TOP AND TINY SHORT SHORTS. I LOST EVERYTHING IN MY STOMACHHEN SHE STUCK HER HAND DOWN HER SHORTS AND STARTED SCRATCHING AT HER ASS-CRACK. FML
Today thinking I was alone in mah house I went downstair in mah underwear singing at the top of mah voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house 4 the next two weeks. FML
Today , I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on , looking fir a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to ( sit by the hooker. ) FML
I WAS SHOPPING WITH MAH BOYFRIEND, WHEN HE SUGGESTED THAT I MIGHT WANT TO BUY A NEW LOOFAH. WHEN I ASKED WHY, HE ADMITTED HE'S BEEN USING IT TO SCRUB HIS ASS CRACK 4 WEEKS. I USE THAT LOOFAH TO WASH MAH FACE. FML
Today... I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today mah boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wastd. He's currently nakd in bd cooing at his penis and giggling lyk a little grl. FML
Today , wanting to be romantic , I came home with flowers , an told mah girlfriend I love her an that I never want us to fall apart . Before I could finish mah second sentence , she farted , said , "Aww , that's so sweet" an quickly excused herself to the bathroom . FML
my fiancée showd me her wedding plans. It will be themd on one of her video games , the best man will be dressd as an alien warlord , and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessd by the ( Goddess Kalahra ). Apparently , I have no say in this. FML
Today... I went out to dinner with mah boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu..." remarked how I look "so grown up 4 yur age..." and asked wat grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
Friday 27 March 2015