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DarkCaesar

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DarkCaesar
  • Town/Country : Michigan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : If like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's last visitors

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DarkCaesar's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (3105)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (3820)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

#21116653
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (1628)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by you'vegotmail(not) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (22568)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (2344)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (2134)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (27375)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (7198)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (10549)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (2348)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (2912)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (10188)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)



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