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DarkCaesar

Offline (yesterday at 7:02pm) | Search for a member

DarkCaesar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 41945
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : I'd like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's page activity

Visits<b>CruelGuy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:41pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:14am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:32am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13pm<b>DrMario_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:11pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:30am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:08am<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:54pm<b>JoMama_0924</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:32pm<b>4WARD</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>HotShot313</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:18am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Becca_Bear_98</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:23pm<b>DontMindMeAtAll</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:45pm

DarkCaesar's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DarkCaesar's badges

DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (1630)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (1506)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (1838)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (2371)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (1513)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (3667)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (2710)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

#21407219
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (2541)

On 05/09/2015 at 11:53am - love - by ForeverAlone - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

#21407028
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (1959)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (2357)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (3710)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (6735)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (7353)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)



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