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DarkCaesar

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

DarkCaesar

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2838
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : I'd like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's page activity

Visits<b>CruelGuy</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:07pm<b>4WARD</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:50pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:07pm<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>HotShot313</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:18am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Becca_Bear_98</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:23pm<b>DontMindMeAtAll</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:48pm<b>crystalxa</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:24am<b>Ezedaya</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:35pm<b>kroney1</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:09am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:21am<b>yourfullname</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:59am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 1:42pm

DarkCaesar's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of DarkCaesar's badges

DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (6076)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (4665)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (7034)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (4805)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you deserved it (2873)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (5928)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16940) - you deserved it (32652)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (4834)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45202) - you deserved it (4391)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34053) - you deserved it (4944)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36192) - you deserved it (5868)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35032) - you deserved it (7672)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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