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DarkCaesar

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 12:17am) | Search for a member

DarkCaesar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 51759
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : I'd like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's page activity

Visits<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:34am<b>sammie2new</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:17pm<b>CruelGuy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:41pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:14am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:32am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13pm<b>DrMario_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:11pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:30am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:08am<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:54pm<b>JoMama_0924</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:32pm<b>4WARD</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>HotShot313</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:18am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:46pm

DarkCaesar's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DarkCaesar's badges

DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (2320)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25262) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML

#21441952
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Teste (man) - Spain

Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML

#21441771
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2414)

On 07/14/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by trappedinmyownhome (woman) -

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (1929)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (1449)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

#21441443
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (1644)

On 07/14/2015 at 8:00am - work - by mississpissi (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27703) - you deserved it (1562)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (19612)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

#21441236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (2967)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Lukey1028 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML



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