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DarkCaesar

Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

DarkCaesar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 59030
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : I'd like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's page activity

Visits<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:34am<b>sammie2new</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:17pm<b>CruelGuy</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:41pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:14am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:32am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13pm<b>DrMario_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:11pm<b>nyancait</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:30am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:08am<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:54pm<b>JoMama_0924</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:32pm<b>4WARD</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>HotShot313</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:18am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:46pm

DarkCaesar's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DarkCaesar's badges

DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (5040)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

#21508578
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (1666)

On 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

#21508270
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (1245)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by welp - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

#21504691
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (2126)

On 12/17/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by NotSoComfortable (man) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

#21504620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm - kids - by who wants spaghetti - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (1597)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

#21504325
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (1294)

On 12/16/2015 at 3:58am - health - by chamberpottime (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

#21504324
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1677)

On 12/16/2015 at 3:56am - love - by sothatsano - United States (Washington)

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

#21504126
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18066) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/15/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by sorethumb - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

#21503943
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (2032)

On 12/15/2015 at 8:03am - misc - by ConfusedGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (5454)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

#21503817
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (4687)

On 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm - misc - by sarahrachel - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

#21503523
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/14/2015 at 2:29am - love - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at a gift-wrapping booth to raise money for autism, and helping others takes my mind off the fact that my mom died at Christmas. While carefully wrapping a present, offering bows, ribbons, and a gift tag, a snobby bitch said to me, "You're not doing a very good job." FML

#21503447
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (1995)

On 12/13/2015 at 10:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

#21503317
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (11129)

On 12/13/2015 at 3:04pm - money - by ehcanadianeh - Canada (Ontario)



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