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DarkCaesar

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DarkCaesar
  • Town/Country : Michigan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DarkCaesar : If like to think I'm an interesting guy, but I'm still pretty awkward.

DarkCaesar's last visitors

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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DarkCaesar's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (1503)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3032)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
90 comments

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (2907)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (7718)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (8007)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (7739)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (6685)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (3587)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (5749)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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