Darian66

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Darian66

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1616
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darian66's page activity

Visits<b>derbygirl16</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:31pm<b>redraven88</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:00pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:34pm<b>Trodaaa</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 6:10pm<b>ClareHouliston</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 12:40pm

Darian66's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Darian66's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

by Needasafe1234 / 09/25/2009 at 11:24am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

by ayw329 / 01/31/2009 at 8:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money