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Darenator

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Darenator

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  • Number of visits : 3579
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darenator's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

#912798
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8475) - you deserved it (78234)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

#883621
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10528) - you deserved it (69536)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:40am - misc - by oopsiecoffee (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
930 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355125) - you deserved it (38839)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63926) - you deserved it (11800)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62611) - you deserved it (8449)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71122) - you deserved it (4686)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (62403)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (86022)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

#804387
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59915) - you deserved it (9443)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51362) - you deserved it (66689)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

#742814
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59592) - you deserved it (15505)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72552) - you deserved it (2810)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

#742208
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11215) - you deserved it (74965)

On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

#740142
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (57677)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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