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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Daremo

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Daremo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1076
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Daremo's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Daremo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (673) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (716)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (9910) - you deserved it (1010)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (9523) - you deserved it (766)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (2106) - you deserved it (12016)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (5563)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (929)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

#17918191 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (5895) - you deserved it (1005)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:11am - misc - by kansah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

#17883689 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (2320)

On 10/02/2011 at 1:15am - work - by katt_is_here (woman) - United States (Colorado)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (1873)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (1240)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (2397)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (20098) - you deserved it (5651)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (4533)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia