Dany93

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Offline (the 01/20/2016 at 8:03pm)

Dany93

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2324
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dany93's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:19pm<b>doge750</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 2:09am<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:28am<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:42pm<b>M1SsN3wY0rk</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:09am<b>bobman51</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:58am<b>RaySimon</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:11am<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 7:52am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 4:32am<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:20pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:37am<b>_G0D_</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>memowgirl</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Leodak</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:24pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:51pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:14pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>daminantion</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:51am

Dany93's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Dany93's badges

Dany93's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

by Richard / 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Love

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

by areyouserious / 02/29/2012 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy