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Dany93

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Dany93
  • Town/Country : Narnia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dany93's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (3723)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47494) - you deserved it (4110)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
70 comments

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29071) - you deserved it (6342)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40517) - you deserved it (5136)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (4351)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14978) - you deserved it (87663)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15665) - you deserved it (3883)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (3506)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (2227)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (21273)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom



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