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Danke

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 3:16pm) | Search for a member

Danke

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 53
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Danke's page activity

Visits<b>krad204</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:16pm

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Danke's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55801) - you deserved it (7037)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49490) - you deserved it (4835)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42759) - you deserved it (6246)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (5916)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46852) - you deserved it (9234)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (4536)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (8180)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7172) - you deserved it (29682)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6559) - you deserved it (19174)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (6212)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (3351)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (15291)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (8720)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (5523)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38623) - you deserved it (7821)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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