Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DanShowsNoMercy

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

DanShowsNoMercy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 715
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DanShowsNoMercy's page activity

Visits<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:02am<b>baconsdelight701</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:24pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:30pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:12pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:36pm<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:33am<b>WallyQ</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:54am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:53pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:43am<b>Oliok</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:32pm<b>_GreekPhoenix_</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:08pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:13am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:12am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:31pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:36pm<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:48pm

DanShowsNoMercy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of DanShowsNoMercy's badges

DanShowsNoMercy's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43524) - you deserved it (6509)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62660) - you deserved it (7363)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45939) - you deserved it (3632)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (5577)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (8114)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41221) - you deserved it (6344)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55152) - you deserved it (5820)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (17470)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43597) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: