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DanShowsNoMercy

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DanShowsNoMercy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 466
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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DanShowsNoMercy's page activity

Visits<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:33am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:50am<b>StanSmith2013</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:10am<b>badmoments</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:43pm<b>14huberzb</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:52pm<b>psychotics101</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:31pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:22pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:40pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:26pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:57pm<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:48pm<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:25pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:01am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:18am<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:03pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:29pm<b>kfphelps</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:31pm

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DanShowsNoMercy's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (3228)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42649) - you deserved it (3781)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56882) - you deserved it (7961)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (4534)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (7513)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (278) - you deserved it (18664)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42725) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62463) - you deserved it (7345)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (3627)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44889) - you deserved it (5565)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42342) - you deserved it (7974)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)



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