Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DanShowsNoMercy

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

DanShowsNoMercy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 594
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DanShowsNoMercy's page activity

Visits<b>reyelisaia</b> - 15 hours ago<b>WallyQ</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:54am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:53pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:43am<b>Oliok</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:32pm<b>_GreekPhoenix_</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:08pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:13am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:12am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:31pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:36pm<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:48pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:01pm<b>laauramarie</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:44pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:59am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:33am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:50am<b>StanSmith2013</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:10am

DanShowsNoMercy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of DanShowsNoMercy's badges

DanShowsNoMercy's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (9298)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33820) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34251) - you deserved it (6958)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (4520)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (3785)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57414) - you deserved it (7983)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (4534)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51948) - you deserved it (7531)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (373) - you deserved it (18810)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (4986)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (6411)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62572) - you deserved it (7352)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: