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DanShowsNoMercy

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DanShowsNoMercy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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DanShowsNoMercy's page activity

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DanShowsNoMercy's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54600) - you deserved it (7693)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50378) - you deserved it (7323)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54) - you deserved it (17986)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (4918)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42641) - you deserved it (6404)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61555) - you deserved it (7261)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45750) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (2928)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44697) - you deserved it (5557)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (7964)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (6331)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
202 comments

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments


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