Dan714

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Offline (the 06/08/2016 at 11:25pm)

Dan714

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Dan714 : I've been known to dabble in magic and play the bagpipe. I'm a geology major from Maine. If I sound like someone you'd be able to tolerate, and/or you'd like to get to know me better, let's talk!

Dan714's page activity

Visits<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>ItsJustMe17</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:59am<b>Aroha020</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:09am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:07pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:52am<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:38pm<b>clumsycarolyn</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:20pm<b>BlackFames</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:58pm<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Fadingstars</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:01pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 2:29pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:03pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 5:14pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 11:32pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:21am<b>Owen_27</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:21pm<b>purebliss</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:39am

Dan714's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Dan714's badges

Dan714's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

by dillon / 07/01/2014 at 12:12am / United States (Arkansas) / Geek

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

by ROBERT / 08/08/2013 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

by stuckonrepeat / 03/08/2012 at 3:06am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous