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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Dan07

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Dan07
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1956
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Dan07 : The FML's I write are actually true. Why? Because my life sux... and it gets worse everyday.

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Dan07's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (62656)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I came home to find a random car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spit on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (51357)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML

#1186504 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (50762)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (210156)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

#622257 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (80471) - you deserved it (6258)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (92927)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362981) - you deserved it (401305)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (46941)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (1426)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version