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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Damnchr

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Damnchr
  • Town/Country : Århus, Denmark
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 6765
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Damnchr's favorite FMLs

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138235) - you deserved it (18735)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (361046)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (120105) - you deserved it (18812)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (50881) - you deserved it (2698)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (98607) - you deserved it (14095)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268306) - you deserved it (24541)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (58659) - you deserved it (20664)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (45446)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (137260) - you deserved it (9309)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (50426)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (58354) - you deserved it (6757)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (74094)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. FML

#271900 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (128244) - you deserved it (5961)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by manticora (woman) - Tunisia (Bizerte)

Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML

#271677 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (49458)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by absentminded (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

#267564 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (53614) - you deserved it (6441)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)