Damius

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Damius

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 February 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2427
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Damius's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:51am<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:01pm<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:28pm<b>tyedyetee95</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 3:12am<b>JuicyCheeks</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 11:59pm

Damius's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Damius's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

by 06SuFi / 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

by Biggest Jerk / 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

by Noname / 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

by waitingformyfoodstamps / 01/24/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

by Noname / 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy