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Damian95

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Damian95

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1209
  • Number of comments : 316
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Damian95 : Hi my name is Damian! I'm lame, loud, and slightly immature but lots of fun! I'm also happily taken! I love FML and post replies and comments on the occasion. Im half redneck and Half spanish but i came out as a tan white guy! Feel free to message me if you're bored because I'm a talkative person but I'm not a creeper and rarely message anyone first! If you're scared go to church. And always remember Pimpin Ain't Easy.

Damian95's page activity

Visits<b>SuckyFMLs</b> - 7 hours ago<b>raisingbears</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:33am<b>wellfme</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm<b>breaking6883</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Mc2013</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:04pm<b>AKCowboysFan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:44pm<b>maeva22</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:12am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:21pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:58am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:44pm<b>kaiboy702</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:46am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:18am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:13am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:44pm<b>xXOVER_LORDXx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Advising</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:38pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:02pm<b>MasterCheif456</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:50pm

Liked!<b>kaiboy702</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:47am

Damian95's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Damian95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49815) - you deserved it (6244)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56331) - you deserved it (6003)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41951) - you deserved it (5235)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48872) - you deserved it (2758)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (25111)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47931) - you deserved it (10770)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82183) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56159) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (8076)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (6497)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12364) - you deserved it (35847)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (6894)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (2543)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)



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