About Damian95 : Hi my name is Damian! I'm lame, loud, and slightly immature but lots of fun! I love FML and post replies and comments on the occasion. Im half redneck and Half spanish but i came out as a tan white guy! Feel free to message me if you're bored because I'm a talkative person but I'm not a creeper and rarely message anyone first! If you're scared go to church. And always remember Pimpin Ain't Easy.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25367) - you deserved it (5908)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (4355)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8584) - you deserved it (23768)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (5153)
On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1768)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (3453)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (1817)
On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (36993)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (382041)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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