Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DalPozzo13

Search for a member

DalPozzo13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 August 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4472
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DalPozzo13 : Ive never been good at these things so I dont really know what to say

DalPozzo13's page activity

Visits<b>hcat2014</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:38am<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:33am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:20pm<b>tania_maradiaga</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:54pm<b>_taylorr_baee_</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:59am<b>swetha590</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 2:33am<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Sammi0116</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 7:43pm<b>brookes_1334</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 6:35am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 12:10am<b>rdp2013</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 5:07pm<b>mkayden</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:30pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 6:38am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 2:40am<b>emilyyyyy_514</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:29am<b>scice03</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:41pm

DalPozzo13's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of DalPozzo13's badges

DalPozzo13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11159) - you deserved it (38845)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (47475)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (2851)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13104) - you deserved it (24602)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

#19913631
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (31521)

On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (4182)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (2771)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (23362)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (1640)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7469) - you deserved it (32785)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (23034)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (25711)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (1994)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (3179)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (3864)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: