About DalPozzo13 : Ive never been good at these things so I dont really know what to say
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DalPozzo13's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
by ahappypenguin / 09/26/2012 at 12:07am / Miscellaneous
by supapimpin / 09/25/2012 at 11:09am / United States / Intimacy
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML
by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tdudey123 / 09/11/2012 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear… Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my… Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name…