About DalPozzo13 : Ive never been good at these things so I dont really know what to say
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Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21452) - you deserved it (24177)
On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (6145)
On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (2669)
On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60878) - you deserved it (7586)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (53541)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (21370)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (4279)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39326) - you deserved it (2845)
On 03/27/2011 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (12243)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (24879)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (41017)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (43716)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46926) - you deserved it (3261)
On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (34917)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27566) - you deserved it (5864)
On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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