About DalPozzo13 : Ive never been good at these things so I dont really know what to say
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DalPozzo13's favorite FMLs
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health
by Username / 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Username / 06/20/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by NewTenant / 06/20/2011 at 3:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by catlover / 06/16/2011 at 12:14pm / China / Animals
by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm / United States / Love
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 12:17am / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
- Today, during math class I fell asleep and my crush got to see me create more drool on my desk in 5… Today, I went to the dentist and they told me I was fine so I went home. They called me back saying… Today my puppy chewed the lattice off our porch and tangled his line around the posts underneath.…