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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9553) - you deserved it (50868)
On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (7656)
On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (2210)
On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (50202)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (2556)
On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (3520)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15980) - you deserved it (8165)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16803) - you deserved it (15771)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (4910)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (27141)
On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (2303)
On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (27096)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6962) - you deserved it (44472)
On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Monday 20 May 2013
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