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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (10385)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6835) - you deserved it (64028)
On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -
Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (8483)
On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (10516)
On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (4124)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91512) - you deserved it (10773)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (7965)
On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47357) - you deserved it (6503)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (5420)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (9336)
On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (6361)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12334) - you deserved it (18617)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7623) - you deserved it (23311)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (1933)
On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Friday 24 May 2013
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