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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (2853)
On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (1175)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12546) - you deserved it (38877)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (2590)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (1836)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (1823)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (3916)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7057) - you deserved it (31843)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (3186)
On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (2332)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49654) - you deserved it (5247)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (1478)
On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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