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Dakota27

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Dakota27
  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 July 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dakota27's last visitors

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Dakota27's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Dakota27's badges

Dakota27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (1937)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (4507)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11660) - you deserved it (29003)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (4592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7588)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14651) - you deserved it (45864)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (4827)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

#18004250
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41642) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

#17941193
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (11303)

On 10/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by glitterzebra - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15731) - you deserved it (22934)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -



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