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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (2346)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9409) - you deserved it (23764)
On 09/21/2011 at 8:40am - work - by unknown - Philippines
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10573) - you deserved it (22871)
On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (1727)
On 09/17/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by ironik970 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (4750)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (2683)
On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17740) - you deserved it (6816)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71624) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33929) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18776) - you deserved it (10240)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (5423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (2042)
On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (4855)
On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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