About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now
Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (2262)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (6538)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (5420)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (24243)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (4559)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (3391)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (1825)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (1819)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (4860)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (4860)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11561) - you deserved it (12826)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (6918)
On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (2686)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (76708)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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