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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (12944)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (7161)
On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (5695)
On 10/31/2010 at 12:25am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (2232)
On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (45102)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (6273)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (27866)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (2825)
On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (7500)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (32099)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (5640)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (1668)
On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (7540)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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