Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dajucy1

Offline (the 05/20/2014 at 7:17am) | Search for a member

Dajucy1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1360
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now

Dajucy1's page activity

Visits<b>jellenwood</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:20pm<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 5:06pm<b>marsillo9</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 10:39am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 12:05pm

Dajucy1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Dajucy1's badges

Dajucy1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (181517)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

#17986528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (10414)

On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (7094)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32876) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34795) - you deserved it (3356)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13866) - you deserved it (56837)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (89076)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65423) - you deserved it (7373)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34013) - you deserved it (7768)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: