About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now
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Dajucy1's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by beautifulme / 01/31/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Kids
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by disappoint / 12/08/2011 at 4:14am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous