About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (2732)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (16493)
On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (24591)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (1885)
On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (1750)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (3335)
On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28438) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (3211)
On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (32691)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (3862)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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