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Dajucy1

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Dajucy1
  • Town/Country : West Jordan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now

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50 favourites

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Dajucy1's favorite FMLs

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (2272)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (48305)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15135) - you deserved it (40673)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (3511)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (4806)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16177) - you deserved it (17033)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14345) - you deserved it (26884)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36928) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland



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