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Dajucy1

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Dajucy1
  • Town/Country : West Jordan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 849
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dajucy1 : If you're stalking me, I want you to know you'll get an immediate erection right about...now

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Dajucy1's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (2263)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45498) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (38282)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (55049)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (1869)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8028) - you deserved it (53117)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (16584)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (1587)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (6381)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

#19319680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17250) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (10455)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (10455)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



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