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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 9:14pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 September 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 901
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DailyFMLUser : Just a normal guy who is athletic and enjoys numerous sports and activities such as hockey, soccer and track and field.

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Visits<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:09pm<b>__lindsxy__</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:39pm

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DailyFMLUser's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 5:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

by thedudeman14 / 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

by Loverscry / 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

by aineroo / 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm / Ireland (Galway) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

by aspiemeanswell / 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Love

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

by chlorobitch551 / 11/05/2014 at 11:54am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

by AAnonymous / 11/05/2014 at 8:57am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

by single pringle / 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

by kismet_fire / 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

by The Selfie Parent / 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Kids

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Work