DaKillaMafia

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DaKillaMafia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1377
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DaKillaMafia : Hi

DaKillaMafia's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:42am<b>enternameehere</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:12pm<b>hman1025</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:08pm<b>justsoccer</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:01pm<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:50pm<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:33pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:57pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:41am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 1:46pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:14pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:48pm<b>Padreschargers7</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:16am<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 1:34pm<b>justhanging</b> - the 04/17/2012 at 9:48am<b>mikeymike31</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:34am

DaKillaMafia's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DaKillaMafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

by dusk / 01/05/2012 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

by Angela / 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

by WTF / 12/30/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

by A. Person / 04/07/2010 at 1:36am / Mexico (Sonora) / Transportation

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

by carboat / 01/28/2009 at 4:24am / United States (California) / Work