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DaKillaMafia

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DaKillaMafia
  • Town/Country : Katy, TX
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 November 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 643
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DaKillaMafia : Hi

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DaKillaMafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3562)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

#18706374
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (3534)

On 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (5500)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (10492)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8853) - you deserved it (28245)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (3941)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

#9697078
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27827) - you deserved it (1763)

On 04/07/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by A. Person - Mexico (Sonora)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46045) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (4849)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (24782)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (35586)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)



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