DaKillaMafia

Search for a member

DaKillaMafia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1412
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DaKillaMafia : Hi

DaKillaMafia's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:42am<b>enternameehere</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:12pm<b>hman1025</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:08pm<b>justsoccer</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:01pm<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:50pm<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:33pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:57pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:41am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 1:46pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:14pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:48pm<b>Padreschargers7</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:16am<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 1:34pm<b>justhanging</b> - the 04/17/2012 at 9:48am<b>mikeymike31</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:34am

DaKillaMafia's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DaKillaMafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after 2 days of not showering. FML

by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 8:34am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

by silvernights21 / 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous