DaKillaMafia

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DaKillaMafia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DaKillaMafia : Hi

DaKillaMafia's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:42am<b>enternameehere</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:12pm<b>hman1025</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:08pm<b>justsoccer</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:01pm<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:50pm<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:33pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:57pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:41am<b>Ricko_Ram</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 1:46pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:14pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:48pm<b>Padreschargers7</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:16am<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 1:34pm<b>justhanging</b> - the 04/17/2012 at 9:48am<b>mikeymike31</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>christian_drake</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:34am

DaKillaMafia's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DaKillaMafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML

by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

by wtf did I do / 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous