Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member
About DaDezza244 : I only comment so I don't disappear into the pages of history lol. My comments will suck since I'm hopeless at making puns. FML
Let's run away from the wickedness of the world and travel to Narnia or Hogwarts! The world is mad and I had enough. It's time for us to disappear to our fantasies
Let's travel the world and obtain every Pokèmon that currently exists in our imagination! (I prefer all pokemon up to 486)
I'm hopeless at making puns so I don't really comment. Anxiety problems is also a reason I don't comment. #TheStruggle
I really want friends :( social anxiety sucks balls
I love Germany. You can say I'm obsessed.
I am Respectful, kind Person
I am Australian with an Asian descent
I Hate racist people.
I Believe in Human Rights
Stand up for what you believe.
Be Respectful to everyone.
I'm on app most of the time.
Support same-sex marriage!
Don't Judge people!
Message me if you wish!
CYA later :D
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML
Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML
Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
Friday 26 June 2015