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DaBlabber

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 10:08pm) | Search for a member

DaBlabber

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  • Number of visits : 1002
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DaBlabber's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41879) - you deserved it (3704)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (10328)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (3654)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML

#21045157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (4014)

On 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

#21039586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (22459)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (4694)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51404) - you deserved it (5652)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (7051)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (41321)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (30811)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49446) - you deserved it (9301)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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