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DaBayst's favorite FMLs
by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 6:11am / United States / Work
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Unsatisfied / 12/16/2009 at 1:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…