DWynter

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DWynter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 November 1964 (51 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 564
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DWynter : Wanna-be writer

DWynter's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:38am<b>annieleonhardt</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 5:13pm<b>agzz21</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:45am<b>jade316</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 9:39pm<b>oliviaarrrr</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:42pm<b>candiighal1121</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 11:31pm<b>KawaiiCupcake</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:08am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 2:40am<b>jff1998</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 3:17pm<b>fuzzylumpkins19</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Osmoses</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:54pm<b>KGD</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:04pm<b>MrA7Xfan</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:44am<b>superman3212</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:12am<b>Tiffanywastaken</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:09am

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DWynter's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

by ven980 / 09/04/2013 at 3:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

by D / 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

by Kingofbosses / 08/22/2013 at 1:31am / United States / Work

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

by his word vs mine = me suspended / 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Work

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe / 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm / Sweden / Animals

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love