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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
DTriolo's favorite FMLs
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML
by donttouchmyhair / 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML
by kitty91 / 03/02/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Sodapop40 / 02/22/2014 at 4:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML
by 94lbs of muscle / 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm / Health
Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort… Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When… Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You…