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Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 7:43am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 307
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DTriolo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43199) - you deserved it (6906)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63016) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61832) - you deserved it (7829)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (3640)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48941) - you deserved it (9052)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42278) - you deserved it (8565) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46702) - you deserved it (7118)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63240) - you deserved it (4604)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (3562)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

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