Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DSaturn

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

DSaturn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 April 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DSaturn's page activity

Visits<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Loveyou6611</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:17am<b>willis123</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:48pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:22am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:35pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:45pm<b>f36k</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:13pm<b>guy_manhgghh</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:55pm<b>fricklefrackle</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:19pm<b>julio_23602</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 9:39am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:32am<b>lawrawran</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 8:02pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:57pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:48pm<b>iMelonix</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:22pm<b>payten824</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:54pm

DSaturn's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DSaturn's badges

DSaturn's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you deserved it (3674)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55755) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (6576)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (3452)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (4832)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61378) - you deserved it (6018)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (39706)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (5251)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (3236)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: