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DRKLITNING

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DRKLITNING

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2018
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DRKLITNING : Just some dude with a crappy afro

DRKLITNING's page activity

Visits<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 9:00pm

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DRKLITNING's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55530) - you deserved it (23162)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (127690)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (6541)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (1587)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (37744)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (26454)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (2358)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (2358)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10668) - you deserved it (36741)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you deserved it (20642)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7460) - you deserved it (32743)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)



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