About DQEight : I don't usually get personal messages.I frequent reddit and Im trying for a degree in networking. I love video games!
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DQEight's favorite FMLs
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anon / 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm / United States / Health
by DarkDolly / 02/04/2012 at 11:39am / France / Transportation
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man… Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes… Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I…