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DPerk

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DPerk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 328
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DPerk : 19 young work at Go Daddy making websites I play bass guitar in my spare time mostly 90's grunge and 90's Alt. anything else you want to know hmu on here or skype DPera92

DPerk's page activity

Visits<b>MandyMeow</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:25pm<b>omnomnicon</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 1:09pm<b>mvems</b> - the 06/19/2012 at 8:05pm

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DPerk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (3897)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36657) - you deserved it (13004)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (6879)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (3457)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162109) - you deserved it (8158)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46566) - you deserved it (10406)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

#5361987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (7572)

On 09/19/2009 at 7:19pm - animals - by 909 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34916) - you deserved it (19266)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14292) - you deserved it (41972)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (62350)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (96424)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (71093)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83705) - you deserved it (20375)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77338) - you deserved it (4623)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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