Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About DOMEinic : I'm a trumpet player with a great love for most music genre's. Going to college. Like to tackle things head-on.
Love Nickelback, 5FDP, Shinedown, Disturbed, Eminem, Dragonforce, Avenged Sevenfold, (insert a whole bunch of top name bands here) but also love my classical pieces and jazz, as I am a music major.
Hobbies include video games, reading, movie watching, sleeping, and general procrastinating activities, (or all the above). As far as I'm concerned, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars, are all "the shit."
I enjoy listening to people's problems and help solving them. If you have any questions or problems that need solving or an unbiased ear, send me a message, as I am a trouble shooter.
Didn't want to take forever on this thing as it needed an update so if you have questions, comments, concerns, or just want to say "Hi!" send me message. I won't bite! Anyhow, have a wonderful day. :)
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015