Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DMAN80182001

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 5:35am) | Search for a member

DMAN80182001

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About DMAN80182001 : Hey if your reading this than you saw my profile somewhere and I guess I'm supposed to write about myself. I'm a drummer, a gamer, and extremely weird, and I seem to only be social on the Internet because no one knows I'm a monkey(as you can see in my pic.)kik: dman8018. Don't expect an answer immediately, though.

DMAN80182001's page activity

Visits<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:54am<b>MsFML_</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:02am<b>Echosnow</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>LivexForever21</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:08pm<b>chutney_02</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:00pm<b>27inch</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:06pm<b>vegas_jose</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:03am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:33pm<b>ScarletRoses92</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:23pm<b>aehren</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:37pm<b>cjspenny</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 5:16am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:31am<b>mychallm92</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:10pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:01am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:54pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:44pm<b>J1728</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:32pm

DMAN80182001's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of DMAN80182001's badges

DMAN80182001's favorite FMLs

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

#21126821
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (4641)

On 04/30/2014 at 12:20am - work - by KO - United States

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (4669)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (13061)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (6612)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65066) - you deserved it (32538)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (44813)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37291) - you deserved it (67743)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79446) - you deserved it (4082)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34332) - you deserved it (6294)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (2821)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29343) - you deserved it (2471)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (2046)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: