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About DMAN4219 : Love to play guitar, currently in a band, in the Las Vegas (NV) area.
Only play rock and metal music just FYI.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (5620)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25965) - you deserved it (5063)
On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (16714)
On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (5473)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (10248)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (5134)
On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (5451)
On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (10615)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (56245)
On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (12643)
On 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by sarskii (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (3096)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16322) - you deserved it (30978)
On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10434) - you deserved it (26011)
On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75036) - you deserved it (4157)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
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