DLT

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Offline (the 09/07/2015 at 7:29pm)

DLT

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1360
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DLT : Biggest pet peeve on FML? "You should have a talk with him/her about it." They didn't write an FML for advice, they wrote it for our entertainment/approval and to get some humour from the situation. Piss off with your phoney sympathy.

DLT's page activity

Visits<b>YouEatDiarrhea</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:30am<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:14am<b>rebelborn96</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:29am<b>trbetit</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:53pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Morning</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:46am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:18am<b>thanatosx444</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:08am<b>javery5</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:59am<b>ImmaEatYouXx</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:22pm<b>JRsmeety</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 5:04pm<b>mel_tran_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:32pm<b>boutonsbunny</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:58pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:33am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 3:41am<b>Dany93</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:08am<b>Wheatbreadman</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:23pm

DLT's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of DLT's badges

DLT's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

by oops... / 09/12/2014 at 1:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

by YellowKettleBell / 04/01/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

by KittyKat / 11/03/2013 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

by CrappyDay / 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

by MrKento / 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm / Honduras (Francisco Morazan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

by Dave / 11/29/2012 at 9:22am / United States (Florida) / Kids