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DLT

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DLT

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DLT : Biggest pet peeve on FML? "You should have a talk with him/her about it." They didn't write an FML for advice, they wrote it for our entertainment/approval and to get some humour from the situation. Piss off with your phoney sympathy.

DLT's page activity

Visits<b>Morning</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:46am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:18am<b>thanatosx444</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 12:08am<b>javery5</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:59am<b>ImmaEatYouXx</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:22pm<b>JRsmeety</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 5:04pm<b>mel_tran_</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:32pm<b>boutonsbunny</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:58pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:33am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 3:41am<b>Dany93</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:08am<b>Wheatbreadman</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:23pm<b>Verst</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 12:38pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:50am<b>BDOG232</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 1:32am<b>rememberkids</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 1:25am<b>lssp</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 1:15am

DLT's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of DLT's badges

DLT's favorite FMLs

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
94 comments

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33841) - you deserved it (11808)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (6548)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49265) - you deserved it (6327)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

#20846305
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (2839)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (11596)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (4966)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (11997)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (9356)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (7526)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (3909)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (7448)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



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